Creating an online dating profile can be scary. After all, it's not
always easy to big yourself up without sounding conceited or (even
worse) desperate. So, we've spoken to the experts to get their top tips
on making your online dating profile work for you.
Did you know that one in three couples now find love online? In this fast-paced, social media-dependent world, we rely on the Internet for everything - from keeping in touch with old school friends and career networking to ordering takeaways and finding a cat-sitter for that weekend away. So, it seems logical you would use the good old Internet for finding that special someone, too.
That said, the world of online dating can be daunting if you've never tried it before, so here are our top tips for making the most of your profile and spotting a great potential partner.
HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR ONLINE PROFILE:
1. Ask your friends for help: Get a friend to help you write your profile. Sometimes they know you better than you know yourself.
2. Avoid clichés: Even if you do like “walking on the beach” or “drinking wine in front of a roaring fire” leave it out – everyone says that. Think of something interesting that could be a conversation starter.
3. List sociable hobbies: ‘People have to imagine how they’ll fit into your life, so describing yourself as a “bookworm and internet addict” makes them feel they’d never see you,’ explains match.com’s relationship expert Kate Taylor. ‘Play up your love of anything sporty, outdoorsy or public like concerts and exhibitions.'
4. Choose action shots: Wouldn't you know, profile photos that demonstrate you playing your guitar or downhill skiing even if your face isn’t showing get more messages.
5. Stay positive: Avoid negative tones and always be positive about yourself. Your profile is essentially your dating CV. You wouldn’t want a future employer to read anything negative, so why would you want a potential partner to read anything that isn’t positive?
6. Be honest: Lying doesn’t get you anywhere in the dating world. Honesty is the best policy!
7. Be specific: Talk in specifics to give a full flavour of who you are. If you love travelling, say where your favourite place is and why. Anything concrete like this brings you alive to anyone reading.
8. Update regularly: Keep your profile up to date. Make the effort to renew your profile on a regular basis with relevant information about yourself.
9. Check your grammar: Many people find poor grammar and spelling a turn off, and the best of us can make mistakes, so be careful on this point. Put your profile into Word and use your computer spell check for peace of mind.
10. Say cheese: In a recent poll, we found that 96 per cent of people would rather see a big, happy grin in a profile photo than a sexy pout.
11. Choose recent photos: If they are more than a year old, don’t use them. One of the most frequent complaints about online dating profiles is “they may have looked like that once but they certainly don’t look like that now”. Looking better in the flesh is better than the reverse.
12. Keep it short and sweet: ‘You wouldn’t introduce yourself to someone in a bar with your entire life history, so don’t do it online. 'Women have a tendency to write too much because we enjoy reading long profiles. Men are not like us! Imagine you are doing an icebreaker introduction where you have to sum yourself up briefly.’
13. Have fun: Most people want to find someone who can make them laugh, so show people you have a sense of humour. If you can make someone laugh, it’s a great icebreaker and could get your conversation off to a great start.
14. Be the focus: Don’t choose a picture where you are not the main focal point.
15. Summer loving: ‘Our latest research found that people in summery photographs were seen as more attractive than in their winter pics,’ says Kate. ‘Go back through your Facebook holiday album and find some recent summertime photos.'
Selecting a Username
Bad: Laura111119, SexGoddess922, RUMySoulmate
A good username should tempt potential partners to open your profile and learn more, Donaldson says, so you want it to stand out. Using just your name implies that you didn't put a lot of thought into it; plus, it's generic. Schreffler also advises against usernames that might make you look like a show-off.
Great: MagicMike, TheFun1, TheCityGirl, DontOpenThis, TheTotalPackage
"You want something fun, that shows off who you are and is not boring," Schreffler says, "Be clever, or use a play on words. Go for things that can be easily recognized."
Writing a Headline/Tagline
Great: "The girl who has everything... but a 1957 Fender Strat."; "My hidden talent is..."
"The purpose of a tagline is to create an icebreaker for users to reach out to you," Donaldson says. "Remember you are marketing yourself, and you need to write a tagline that reaches the type of match you are looking for." Guitarist seeking guitarist? Appeal to their musical side. Looking for a funny guy? Be funny. When in doubt, Schreffler says: "Choose one or two key facts [about yourself], and insert them into your headline. This works, because, again, you're keeping them guessing."
Summarizing Yourself
Bad: "I like playing trombone."
Boooooring. There are hundreds of thousands of online daters, and many of them also play instruments. Why should they remember you? What makes you special? When describing yourself, be specific and avoid cliches, too. "Never ever say that you like long walks on the beach," Schreffler says, "even if you do."
Great: "I love playing trombone... remind me to tell you about that time I free-styled with Johnny Depp."
"Make your self-summary short but significant. No more than three paragraphs," Donaldson says, "A good example includes interesting information about yourself, your hobbies, and what you love about your life." You want to represent yourself and intrigue potential partners. Leave them wanting to know more about you.
Picking Profile Pictures
Bad: Not having pictures; pictures with your cat
Pictures aren't optional; they're essential to catching the eye of a potential partner. "Men are visual," Donaldson says, "So if you don't appeal to their sense of beauty, they will not write to you." He recommends one or two photos minimum but never more than four.
Schreffler stresses the importance of content: "Great dating profiles do not have shots of women with their cats. Just don't do it." You may love Mittens, but potential partners do not.
Great: Selfies
"What works the best, weirdly, are selfies. Don't ask me why, but it's what men react to." Schreffler says. "However, you need to have a wide range. For example, if you have just selfies of your head, a guy will nine times out of 10 not write to you because he's wondering why you haven't shown off your body."
The Dating Profile Golden Rule
"Stay true to who you are. If you create a dating profile based on a woman that you think a man would like, you're never going to find the man that's right for you," Schreffler says. "When I was writing my book, I created many dating profiles. I was the cool girl, the funny girl, the sexy girl, the shy girl. Nothing really worked until I was the 'real' girlv myself."
Did you know that one in three couples now find love online? In this fast-paced, social media-dependent world, we rely on the Internet for everything - from keeping in touch with old school friends and career networking to ordering takeaways and finding a cat-sitter for that weekend away. So, it seems logical you would use the good old Internet for finding that special someone, too.
That said, the world of online dating can be daunting if you've never tried it before, so here are our top tips for making the most of your profile and spotting a great potential partner.
HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR ONLINE PROFILE:
1. Ask your friends for help: Get a friend to help you write your profile. Sometimes they know you better than you know yourself.
2. Avoid clichés: Even if you do like “walking on the beach” or “drinking wine in front of a roaring fire” leave it out – everyone says that. Think of something interesting that could be a conversation starter.
3. List sociable hobbies: ‘People have to imagine how they’ll fit into your life, so describing yourself as a “bookworm and internet addict” makes them feel they’d never see you,’ explains match.com’s relationship expert Kate Taylor. ‘Play up your love of anything sporty, outdoorsy or public like concerts and exhibitions.'
4. Choose action shots: Wouldn't you know, profile photos that demonstrate you playing your guitar or downhill skiing even if your face isn’t showing get more messages.
5. Stay positive: Avoid negative tones and always be positive about yourself. Your profile is essentially your dating CV. You wouldn’t want a future employer to read anything negative, so why would you want a potential partner to read anything that isn’t positive?
6. Be honest: Lying doesn’t get you anywhere in the dating world. Honesty is the best policy!
7. Be specific: Talk in specifics to give a full flavour of who you are. If you love travelling, say where your favourite place is and why. Anything concrete like this brings you alive to anyone reading.
8. Update regularly: Keep your profile up to date. Make the effort to renew your profile on a regular basis with relevant information about yourself.
9. Check your grammar: Many people find poor grammar and spelling a turn off, and the best of us can make mistakes, so be careful on this point. Put your profile into Word and use your computer spell check for peace of mind.
10. Say cheese: In a recent poll, we found that 96 per cent of people would rather see a big, happy grin in a profile photo than a sexy pout.
11. Choose recent photos: If they are more than a year old, don’t use them. One of the most frequent complaints about online dating profiles is “they may have looked like that once but they certainly don’t look like that now”. Looking better in the flesh is better than the reverse.
12. Keep it short and sweet: ‘You wouldn’t introduce yourself to someone in a bar with your entire life history, so don’t do it online. 'Women have a tendency to write too much because we enjoy reading long profiles. Men are not like us! Imagine you are doing an icebreaker introduction where you have to sum yourself up briefly.’
13. Have fun: Most people want to find someone who can make them laugh, so show people you have a sense of humour. If you can make someone laugh, it’s a great icebreaker and could get your conversation off to a great start.
14. Be the focus: Don’t choose a picture where you are not the main focal point.
15. Summer loving: ‘Our latest research found that people in summery photographs were seen as more attractive than in their winter pics,’ says Kate. ‘Go back through your Facebook holiday album and find some recent summertime photos.'
This are the sample:
If you haven't dipped your toe in the online dating pool yet, the prospect of diving in can be overwhelming. With hundreds of dating sites and hundreds of thousands of potential partners, even knowing where to begin is difficult. Start by finding the dating site that's right for you and your budget. Then, do your research; think about what you are looking for, and find out how to attract that kind of person. You'll want to write a profile that represents you and what you're looking for. To help, we've compiled a few online dating profile examples and enlisted the help of relationship experts Laura Schreffler and Craig Donaldson to get you on your way to writing the perfect online dating profile for you.Selecting a Username
Bad: Laura111119, SexGoddess922, RUMySoulmate
A good username should tempt potential partners to open your profile and learn more, Donaldson says, so you want it to stand out. Using just your name implies that you didn't put a lot of thought into it; plus, it's generic. Schreffler also advises against usernames that might make you look like a show-off.
Great: MagicMike, TheFun1, TheCityGirl, DontOpenThis, TheTotalPackage
"You want something fun, that shows off who you are and is not boring," Schreffler says, "Be clever, or use a play on words. Go for things that can be easily recognized."
Writing a Headline/Tagline
Great: "The girl who has everything... but a 1957 Fender Strat."; "My hidden talent is..."
"The purpose of a tagline is to create an icebreaker for users to reach out to you," Donaldson says. "Remember you are marketing yourself, and you need to write a tagline that reaches the type of match you are looking for." Guitarist seeking guitarist? Appeal to their musical side. Looking for a funny guy? Be funny. When in doubt, Schreffler says: "Choose one or two key facts [about yourself], and insert them into your headline. This works, because, again, you're keeping them guessing."
Summarizing Yourself
Bad: "I like playing trombone."
Boooooring. There are hundreds of thousands of online daters, and many of them also play instruments. Why should they remember you? What makes you special? When describing yourself, be specific and avoid cliches, too. "Never ever say that you like long walks on the beach," Schreffler says, "even if you do."
Great: "I love playing trombone... remind me to tell you about that time I free-styled with Johnny Depp."
"Make your self-summary short but significant. No more than three paragraphs," Donaldson says, "A good example includes interesting information about yourself, your hobbies, and what you love about your life." You want to represent yourself and intrigue potential partners. Leave them wanting to know more about you.
Picking Profile Pictures
Bad: Not having pictures; pictures with your cat
Pictures aren't optional; they're essential to catching the eye of a potential partner. "Men are visual," Donaldson says, "So if you don't appeal to their sense of beauty, they will not write to you." He recommends one or two photos minimum but never more than four.
Schreffler stresses the importance of content: "Great dating profiles do not have shots of women with their cats. Just don't do it." You may love Mittens, but potential partners do not.
Great: Selfies
"What works the best, weirdly, are selfies. Don't ask me why, but it's what men react to." Schreffler says. "However, you need to have a wide range. For example, if you have just selfies of your head, a guy will nine times out of 10 not write to you because he's wondering why you haven't shown off your body."
The Dating Profile Golden Rule
"Stay true to who you are. If you create a dating profile based on a woman that you think a man would like, you're never going to find the man that's right for you," Schreffler says. "When I was writing my book, I created many dating profiles. I was the cool girl, the funny girl, the sexy girl, the shy girl. Nothing really worked until I was the 'real' girlv myself."
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